So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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