Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Text me some of your sweat
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