bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
