someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
