Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
