Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
