the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
