when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
