i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
