We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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