She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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