Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
