Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
honey bunches of taint.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
