His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
