me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
