she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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