I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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