she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
