it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize