he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
