you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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