Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
