Your tits are I can't wait for
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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