I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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