I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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