You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
