I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
