so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
