We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
