you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
