good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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