I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's always time for handjobs
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
