last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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