Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
