You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
