I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this boner is exhausting
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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