how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
