I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
