I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
