Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
