people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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