matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
