We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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