how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
