Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
