My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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