and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Did you just see the Batmobile???
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
