The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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