Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
