Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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