the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's Friday. Sex?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
