Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In other news, I just burned my penis
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
