Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
